Physical attraction is a key factor in relationships. It is why many people come together. However, it is not the only factor. Shared values and interests contribute to people coming together, but also staying together.
Our values are our firmly held beliefs which constitute the core of our personality and help us make choices. Often, we tend to mistake our core values with our interests, and this can result in us choosing relationship partners who may not be right for us.
Our values are based on our life experiences and will affect everything we are attracted to, our tastes, political leanings, the things we do in our spare time, our religious and social inclinations, what we are passionate about and more. On the other hand, interests are more light-weight, they could be marginal, slight, vague and not necessarily signifying deep commitment. Interests could be things like the football club we support, our pet projects and other preferences which may be important, however don’t require deep commitment.
When entering relationships, we should look for those persons whose values align with ours, because research contradicts the opinion that couples can change each other over time. This means we are more likely to stay together with someone who has similar values to us than someone with just similar interests. Choosing a partner who shares similar values with us is important because it supports and validates our beliefs and way of life. This means less conflict and angst as you don’t end up disagreeing with your partner on issues most important to you. In addition, similarity in core life values results in a positive mutual feeling.
Our success and happiness are linked with our choice of partners and choosing partners who share our core values make for all-round success. Research shows that choosing partners who share similar values affect our job satisfaction, pay grade, and even career advancement. Partners who are more conscientious put in more time to help in day-to-day activities, take more responsibility and help in creating a harmonious environment.
The success of our relationships and every other aspect of our life is determined by the kind of persons we are attracted to. Chooing a partner should go beyond physical attraction. It should be a conscious and deliberate decision which means we should look at choosing partners whose core values are in line with ours and go beyond mere interests and hobbies. Identifying our core values and choosing relationship partners based on those values may assist with maximizing the probability of longevity of your relationship.
Anil Khanna is a Mentor at The Successful Male Global Pty. Ltd.