When it comes to dating in the modern world, the lines have become somewhat blurred in the man’s role of correct dating protocol. There are so many things for one to consider!
Do you text or call to ask her out? Do you offer to pick her up, or just meet her at the venue? Do you ask her where she’d like to go for the date, or do you decide for her? Do you take her somewhere casual, or somewhere fancy?
Oh, gosh! That’s a lot to think about before you even get to the date. And, when you’re on the date, there is even more to think about: do you open the door for her? Do you pull the chair out for her? When the date is over, do you insist on paying for dinner, or do you allow her to go halves?
All of these things used to be so clear cut. The man took charge – made all of the decisions. But now, with the rise of equality, and the decline of chivalry, it’s no wonder men are struggling to redefine the terms of dating.
Some women are offended if a man is not chivalrous, and others are offended if they are. It’s obviously wonderful to have some equilibrium amongst men and women, but that should not come at the cost of chivalry. The two should be able to live in harmony.
So let’s break these modern dating conundrums down!
Should you text or call her?
In today’s world, both are acceptable, but keep in mind texting does imply one of two things: you either lack the confidence to call, or you’re just not that in to her. So be mindful of that when deciding on how to ask her out. She will be super impressed if you actually call!
Do you offer to pick her up, or meet her at the venue?
This once chivalrous act, is one that should be avoided – at least on the first date. Safety is a major concern for women today, and they probably won’t feel comfortable with a stranger knowing where they live. Being trapped in a car with a stranger would also be a concern, and finally, the thought of being stuck at a venue if the date isn’t going well, would most likely freak her out.
Do you ask her where she wants to eat, or decide yourself?
Most men don’t realise that asking a woman where she would like to go on a date, can be off putting. It says you lack confidence within yourself, struggle to make decisions, or worse: that you can’t be bothered to make the effort to decide. It’s quite normal for you to be concerned that she may not like where you choose, but simply ask her what food she likes and decide from there.
Do you take her somewhere casual or fancy?
Some women love going fancy, and others feel intimidated by it. In asking what cuisine she likes, your decision should be made easier. Also keep in mind who you are as a person: if you are someone who feels uncomfortable going fancy, then don’t take her fine dining. She will sense you’re uncomfortable, and will likely end up feeling uncomfortable herself. Being authentic, is the best way to impress her.
Do you open the door for her, and pull her chair out?
Always open the door for her, and let her walk first – this is showing respect. Not doing this leads her to question how you’ve been raised, and where else you would show disrespect. As for pulling her chair out, this depends more on the type of venue you are attending. If it’s a fancy place, then yes, you should. If it’s a casual place, then you can probably get away with not pulling her chair out. However, she will be impressed if you make the effort to do so.
Do you insist on paying, or do you accept going halves?
In the world of chivalry: modern day, or yesteryear, this should be a no brainer. The man should always pay when asking a woman out on a date. It is called being a gentleman! If a woman takes offense to this, one might assume, she either has a serious chip on her shoulder, or a serious lack of self-worth. This sort of offense is a reflection on her, not you trying to be a gentleman. If you encounter such a woman, perhaps it might be wise to avoid going on a second date. There are plenty of other women just waiting for that special ‘knight in shining armour’.
Dating can be nerve racking at the best of times, but just remember to be yourself and a gentleman, and you’ll be sure to show her a good time.