Attraction can be a deceiving emotion…
How many times have you met someone that you felt an initial attraction to, only to find out along the way that you have nothing in common with that person? Or worse, that the very sight of them sickens you to your core!
There are different forms of attraction, and sometimes people don’t recognise the nature of their initial attraction.
A purely physical attraction can be the most confusing of all. The intensity and excitement of a physical attraction, can literally blind you to the reality of a situation – the passion overrides all sense of reason!
Most have experienced this at one point or another in their lives: it’s usually a very fast paced relationship, injected with a strong sense of euphoria.
Future plans to build a life together formulate rather quickly. Before you know it, you’re talking about marriage and children, you’re meeting her family and friends, and spending every waking hour with her. Perhaps you’ve even brashly decided to move in together.
Everything is moving so fast! The excitement of your hopes and dreams in starting a life with the ‘one’, is distracting you from that deep (inner) feeling that something isn’t quite right.
You don’t care, you’re all too eager to dismiss these doubts: you are ready to settle down, and the overwhelming feeling of passion must mean that she really is the ‘one’.
Only, now that passion starts to dissipate… You’ve quickly fallen into the routine of an old married couple – the cracks are starting to show. Everything she does is starting to annoy you, and you start to pull away. She notices you pulling away, and tries desperately to pull you closer. You start to fight over the silliest of things, each of you digging your heels in – creating more tension and drama.
Before you know it, you realise, you do not like anything about her – the euphoric passion has disappeared into nothingness. There is no love there, and never was – just the illusion brought on by nothing more than physical attraction.
On the flipside of physical attraction, how many of you have met someone you weren’t initially attracted to, but, over time as you got to know them, you suddenly found yourself attracted to their personality? This type of attraction is based on a much deeper foundation than a purely physical one: encompassing body, mind, and spirit.
Due to the delayed reaction involved in a personality attraction, and the quick demise of a purely physical attraction, perhaps the lesson in all of this is that time reveals all. Slow down, breathe, and let the relationship unfold naturally.
When you initially meet someone, they are generally on their best behaviour and making a conscious effort to show their best-self.
Until the initial (physical) attraction wears off and the need to make a good impression, how can you truly asses whether your attraction is purely based on the superficial level of physical attraction, or whether there is a deeper level of a personality based attraction? It’s only in the allowance of time, that any pretence can be revealed.
If you want a long lasting relationship with substance, remember the importance of allowing some time for the emergence of the attraction’s true nature. That bit of time could be the difference between misery and happiness; it may even prevent you from making decisions that can be hard to walk away from: financial, marital, or parental ties.
Attraction is a necessary component to any romantic relationship, but if the attraction is bound by the constraints of physicality, it will never break out into the depths of true lasting love.