It’s kind of cliché isn’t it. “He never changes the toilet roll” is the thorn in the side of most women in relationships…..and even some men too!
It’s interesting to note that your inability or unwillingness to do something as simple as changing the toilet roll can easily indicate an inability and/or unwillingness to do other things too. Think about it for a second. You do your business, use up the toilet roll and then, even though there are new rolls within arms reach, you fail to replace it ready for your partner to use the bathroom. No big deal right? Think again. Let’s move this to the kitchen. You take out the scissors to cut something……and leave the scissors on the bench, use a pen and leave it on the table where you wrote, open the gate and don’t shut it again, take off your shoes and leave them under the table.
So far in the last 5 minutes, your partner has to replace the toilet roll you didn’t, put the scissors and the pen back in the drawers you took them out of, close the gate you left open and put your shoes back in the cupboard OR be on YOUR back to do it yourself.
In isolation, these individual things seem innocent, harmless; insignificant, but put them together and you’ll begin to notice one very frustrated partner…..and you won’t know why until perhaps weeks later; after they’ve put away things you’ve left out, changed the toilet roll 60 times, closed the gate countless times and cleaned up the mess you leave in the bathroom almost every day OR they’ll be feeling like a nag, a nuisance and maybe you’ll be feeling frustrated because you’re being told to do things every day and you just want to be left alone.
Women, especially, have patience for the man they love, but eventually that patience wears out and turns into frustration, anger, resentment and guess what else? Feelings of being taken advantage of, taken for granted, worthless and perhaps they feel like you really don’t care about them. And it all started with the innocent little toilet roll.
Our actions send messages. They say; “I respect and value you and myself enough to clean up after myself” OR “I don’t care; I know you’ll do it anyway”. One of them destroys positive feelings within relationships, the other creates new, positive ones and let’s be honest, little things take a matter of seconds to do and can mean the difference between a partner who feels valued and one who does not. The quality of a relationship depends on the quality of the messages we send by our actions.
So, guys (and some girls) change the damn toilet roll! If not; an empty toilet roll holder may not be the only thing that’s empty in time….your bed may be too.
Michael Lauria is a Relationship Coach and speaker specializing in helping couples create more passionate, purposeful and conscious relationships.